Wednesday, February 11, 2009
My Oldest Son
I have been having lots of problems lately with my son being responsible for things. I know that boys have a harder time with things and I do take that into consideration, but some of these things end up becoming my problem...like losing one of his homeschool DVDs that need to be sent back to the company. Everyday he is told to just put it back in his folder which takes literally seconds to do and everyday he forgets. Well, finally he lost one. Also, I will ask him to pick up stuff around the house and specifically tell him to put it away where it belongs and still I find these things at the end of the day scattered on his bedroom floor. I tried to explain to him that his irresponsibility is going to cause other people to become responsible for his mistakes. It has been very, very frustrating. He is naturally a pleaser and really does not want to rock the boat and is completely crushed when once again he forgets to do what he needs to do and it probably has been the 10th time in the day. I sound like a broken record and he is repeatedly getting his feelings hurt....and for a boy it really cannot do much for his precious ego...
Well, I have prayed about it and I have talked to my hubby about it and I was telling him that sometimes I think the lesson is more mine than his. Do I rely I God to take care of the areas that are so rough in him that even I cannot rub it out? I know God calls us to be parents to our children and to lead them, but he also made us human and not able to handle everything. I mean if my son was perfect he would not need God and if we were perfect for him and were able to help him through everything, he would not need God. So, God needs to stand in this gap that he and I have found between us. I am at my wits end....until today...
We started a new curriculum for history today...Beautiful Feet Through History. I went through the first lesson with him and the first lesson was on individuality, but it was also on self-government. The verse Proverbs 16:32 came up (He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, And he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city) and also the lesson brought up 1 Timothy 3:5 which states For if a man does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God's church? My son has been talking forever about wanting to be a pastor when he grows up....he had a lightbulb moment...his eyebrows raised and he looked at me....What...you cannot rule a church if you cannot rule yourself??? That really hit home for him. It also made me realize how serious he is about becoming a pastor.
A man cannot govern a nation if he cannot govern a city; he cannot govern a city if he cannot govern a family; he cannot govern a family unless he can govern himself; and he cannot govern himself unless his reason be Lord, Will and Appetite her Vassals; nor can Reason rule unless herself be ruled by God and be obedient to him.
Since that lesson he has, without any coercing from me, been doing a lot of the things that I nag about.
So, the lesson was for both of us. God told me to step out of the way and my lightbulb moment came when I talked to my hubby about it and realized that being a parent does not always mean I call all the shots and can make them change into anything I want. I had to realize that God is molding him more than me. Sometimes I will not be able to get him to change these issues. His lightbulb moment came from God talking to him through a simple history lesson taught in the comfort of his own home.
Now, please pray for me cause I am sure we will still be seeing this irresponsibility for some time cause we are all works in progress and I need to remember that God is standing in the gap....but, it sure was nice to have the break today.