My sweet sensitive boy...

We have really been looking into Jack's issues a little more now that he is a bit older. We have had concerns since he was born, but most times voicing our concerns led to doctors just saying to wait because things could change. Things have changed...some things are just a tad bit better and some things are worse. His newest things are taking his clothes off (a lot), gagging himself, throwing himself into people, hitting and throwing himself down on the ground a lot. We had an appointment with a neurologist who basically felt the "big picture was a boy with Autism" and gave us some recommendations on where to take him to be tested. This past week the school did a sensory profile on him. To no ones surprise, he has some sensory dysfunction. I am glad that this has been found so we can help him. The occupational therapist was extremely impressed with the fact that his emotional/social scores were normal. She says usually when you have behavorial dysfunction due to sensory processing you have emotional/social issues as well. She said that is a huge indication of how we handle things at home with him. I said....that's no surprise...he's normal and I'm the one with the emotional/social disorder..ha ha. Anybody that has children with special needs knows how HARD and EXHAUSTING it can be at times. I am very glad that we are recognizing his sensory needs before it does become more emotional/social issues. Jack has proprioceptive sensory disorder so it makes him EXTREMELY active. He throws himself and runs into people trying to gain some input. His brain does not regulate senses properly. He seeks to fix what he does not feel right within him. After a nice long conference with the team which included occupational therapist, social worker, speech therapist and his teacher we are going to try working on fixing his sensory needs....I suppose putting him on a sensory diet. He will require certain techniques or playing throughout the day to help regulate his brain. The trick will be trying to find what sensory input will help not make him more hyper or upset. I feel so overwhelmed by all the information. I can't imagine being able to do everything that is required to help Jack. I keep thinking that when he gets to heaven...none of this will matter....he will be perfect. Earth is so temporary....our bodies are temporary. It still hurts though. I'm not gonna lie. I have a hard time finding my energy in God when I have no brain to seek God in the first place. Does that make sense? I feel God all around me during the day. Sometimes he seems to be just like the dishes that sit in the sink...waiting to be washed. He is on my to do list. I know that, that is not how it should be. I'm just exisiting at times...breathing. I sometimes find myself saying...Lord, I'm just breathing, just breathing. I need more than just breathing. Sigh...I'm done venting. I just thought I would catch up on Jack. My littlest one is now climbed up on the chair and is batting around the lamp. My little family circus....